i recently married bohomoho last july 7, 2007 at malaga cove in rancho palos verdes. i am proudly wearing a wedding band. the angelicfall is my name that signifies the love that i have with bohomoho i met an angel and i fall, the angelicfall. random musings of the angelicfall, a married guy.
fuck. i'm dead meat. after realizing my stupid mistake, i was immediately memoed by the supervisor. there are always firsts, i didn't mean to burst in in his meeting with Janet, the manager. i even asked vicky about it, she told me to go ahead. so i did. don came to me after his meeting with Janet, he told me that I got him into trouble because of that. he continued with 90 day probabtion man. shit, it sounded like a joke, but he never brought that up unless he's pissed off.
A Damn Cold Summer
I find it funny that summer is cold. Not the blue kind of cold, but literally cold. About two or three weeks ago, temperature ranges from 80F to a whopping 100F. But lately, it became 60-74F tops. Extremely weird I should say. I didn't even hear of stories about El Niño or La Niña.
Anyway, I felt so deteriorated lately. I know there were small things that have buried me six feet under, but those things were, in a sense, very light. Even though they were light, it was tearing me apart. I am having a hard time holding myself together. For one thing, I kept falling short on promises I make to people who ask help with their computers. They just expect too much of me. Another thing that's pulling me down, is my own self expectancy of reliance.
It's amazing how I could be so dissatisfied with my own performance. Maybe I'm expecting too much of myself. I am quite disappointed with my plan of losing weight, cutting caffeine and quitting smoking. Especially with the stress I'm into.
waaaaaaaaa. six hours worth of work, all gone down the drain. a power surge knocked everyone's computer. my boss said "i iknew that was coming!" i never did. i lost all my work.
and another...
mrs carpenter (i forgot her first name) passed by my cubicle and said "Whoaa!!! Lookie here! You look good on that!"
haay. another long day. are you busy? you appear to be very busy everytime we talk....
here we go again. Don is trippin on my New Look. ahahah. very funny Don. "do you weigh less?" haha
Mongkolkasetari << shit. i gotta say this is ONE LONG ass last name and funny too. ahaha
Another Lady passed by my Cubicle, Looked at me, and kept walking. A second later she came back and said, "Wow! New Look! Nice!" all I can blurt out was a Thank You.
then another... Vivian, with her Vietnamese accént said "I like your look!" and left.
Day Four of the change in contextual Ron. I changed a lot of things starting from my eating habits, smoking, and just the way I handle myself. I lost about four lbs since Saturday, it's not much to be noticeable, but it's good. Aside from that, the additional responsibility Don gave me started to become overwhelming, and I swear to God he noticed. This has been one of the most training packed days I've ever had. Oh well, I might as well try and try to live up to it. Now that's funny, everyone noticed the change. hahaha. can't help it but, these guys know the difference, even though I have no idea what their names were. These two ladies passed by my cubicle, I know them ONLY by face, they came up to me and said "Oh my God! what happened?" I was embarrassed but I was in it anyway.
Can't wait for freakin tomorrow. PAYDAY! WOOHOOOOOOOOO. problem is, the sixteen hours of OT won't be paid until next payday. I'll only have one hour of OT from the previous payday. Oh well. Expect the least and I might be blessed.
shit. i think i'm going to go nuts with this case my supervisor assigned to me. i asked him if i can work on it overtime, he tells me "you have my permission to work overtime, but i don't want you to go nuts, it's your call." so i'm here working overtime.
crap. i can finally breath. that was one hell of a day. my whole body is aching and stuff. i just wish that i would feel better than i'm feeling right now. all my joints are fucking hurting, especially my wrists. i just wanted to rest, and all i get from the house are chores chores and more chores. can't really do anything about that. i even burned my hand yesterday, trying to get that shit from the oven. crap and hell has been raining on me for almost two weeks. dunno why. but shit.
Today I announced that I was quitting smoking. Yes, I want to quit smoking now. Not like before that it was "I don't want to quit." I admit, I lost a lot from smoking, like the age I should be able to live. The target date for complete quitting from smoking is September (as in completely, no more one stick a day sneaks).
Aside from that, I also cutting my caffeine intake down to a cup a day. I know I violated that today, cause I bought a bottle of soda. Hey, it aint so bad compared to my "usual day" the other week. My usual day before comprises 50 ounces (1,477mL) of cofee, 120 ounces (3,546mL) of soda. Last Sunday, I drank about 6 ounces (177mL) of caffeine drink only. Yesterday, it was another 6 ounces of coffee, just something to wake me up in the morning. Then I took water for the rest of the day, even before I slept, I just drank a 12 ounce glass of water, instead of a 12 ounce soda. Today, I know I cheated, I drank 6 ounces of coffee, plus a 20 ounce bottle of soda. A total of 798mL of caffeine. That would be my last today. hehe.
Of course there would be something like, I'm on a diet. I planned on losing 15 pounds by the middle of the month of July. We'll see how it goes.
Another thing that I acquired to change was brushing at lunch hour. I never brushed my teeth at lunch before, but last week I bought a toothbrush for my lunch break. damn it feels good. Other things I bought for my "utilities" includes a tweezer, a nail clipper and a bottle of lotion. I placed all these in a small bag Free from Liz Claiborne.
I feel so enlightened today, which really disappointed me, I'm not supposed to be like this, but oh well. I guess it's good that I am. haha.
-- Lacuna Coil
Oh no, here it is again
I need to know when will fall in to decay
Something wrong with every plan of my life
I didn't really notice that you've been here
Dolefully desired
Destiny of a lie
Set me free
Your heaven's a lie
Set me free with your love
Set me free
Oh no, here it is again
I need to know why did I choose to betray you
Something wrong with all the plans of my life
I didn't realize that you've been here
Dolefully desired
Destiny of a lie
Set me free
Your heaven's a lie
Set me free with your love
Set me free
note: i heard this song in xm earlier today and it sounded so familiar. i don't have that in the album i have. i love the song...
voices in my head telling me what to do
they control me
they take me into directions
as if i was a zombie
no brain
no mind
no free will
the heaven whispered it's dark secrets on me
as if i was somebody important
i'm nothing but a walking dead
a creation from the clash of heaven and hell
a morbid offspring of the diluted perfection
--the angelicfall®
scream...
scream a deaf silence...
shout...
shout my name without uttering anything...
whisper...
whisper in my ears as loud as you can...
where's my dignity?
where's my credibility?
where's my blood?
why cast me as an infidel?
i hate.
i cry.
i hurt.
i love.
i weep.
--the angelicfall
every person has their own weird way of relaxing... and they feel as if it's normal.
for some people, they think that my way of relaxing... writing while near a breezy lake/beach... is weird. i think it's normal... for me anyways.
my brothers however fascinates me. aside from making the house look like a pet shop of birds and fishes, they also picked up a strange relaxation routine. they would be just silent by the patio, drinking their beers, and look at the bird feeder, or the five chicks that hatched a few days ago (seven birds?!? gotta get a new cage, i guess i need to pitch in). they would just look... say a few words, or "look!" then pass on the binoculars.
aside from the bird watching, i would find the three of them, joey, john, kuya joel, sitting in front of the aquarium, sipping beer, talking while each take turns with the flash light. i tried joining them, but i almost fell asleep.
... talk about a weird world. ahaha
of all the fucked up things...
i regret....
i regret EVER getting that fucking accord...
fuck fuck fuck... i hate this...
ahhh the pain...
smie and look at it...
perhaps it would make a gain...
weep and tell me about it...
i can't stay put...
one way or another...
i squirm...
i wiggle...
i can't sit straight...
-- the angelicfall®
so far i've done only about 400 member processing. fuck. i'm going so slow. i need to finish 6000 by the end of the month. 400/two days... it aint so bad... right? but all hell will break lose if i don't take care of this sooner. especially that my daily stack will pile up.
lately i've been so busy, but i still manage to have time to some important people.
shit... i'm overworking my body... i used to be barefoot at least 10 hours a day... now it's 7 or 8 hours a day. a reduction that prevented me to give my toes a breather. my eyes.. completely fucked up. it rests only for about 4 hours a day, along with my body.
...
i feel so ugly today...
lol. this is the second time i'm taking my lunch in less than thirty mins. man, do i even eat? of course... but not as much as i would if i eat at an hour lunch break. although i would eat for just fifteen mins, i eat lesser now. i rarely eat dinner. i eat when i'm at tep's, in the house, i barely eat anything. i don't know why. i'm a freak. lol. who cares right? nobody i guess.
today was also the first time i prepared food for my lunch. i prepared my ration of a gallon of coffee. i picked something from the freezer left it in the microwave for awhile, prepared my rice. placed everything in my cooler, and left for work. i executed this in about 40 mins, including showering and dressing up.
i want to live alone...
i don't know why, but i feel as if i really want to. There's one in Irvine for $395 a month. not bad...
i just took my first break. wow it was cold outside. i feel so tired...
man, after the quake yesterday, i felt dizzy due to the monitor shaking (i didn't looked away from the monitor.) and it did gave me a headache. the monitor flickered so much that it messed up my thinking. i had a headache for the rest of the day.
talk about the quake. it was a 5.2 on the richter scale. it was about 90 miles away from santa ana, where i work. the shake wasn't so bad here though. but damn, i think it must've done damage to the closet area--baja california, mexico. with less than 15 miles away from shore.
oh well... there were no casualties nor damages reported so there's nothing to worry about...
Shit, my eyes are all watery now, i have never worked for three and a half hours without an eye break. i would usually take my eyes off the monitor for a few minutes avery hour and work on the paper projects. or just take my fifteen minute break. i'm trying to avoid taking my 15 min break earlier, because i wan't to take my lunch a little later than usual...
i never really liked this song... but as far as the lyrics goes...
somewhere high in the desert near a curtain of a blue St. Anne's skirts are billowing
but down here in the city of the limelights
the fans of santa ana are withering
and you can't deny the living is easy
if you never look behind the scenery
it's showtime for dried climes
and bedlam is dreamin' of rain
--santa ana is where i work, the city indeed does have lime lights, living here is not easy, i fucking drive 30 miles to go to work.
chorus: when the hills of los angeles are burnin'
palm trees are candles in the murder wind
so many lives on the breeze
even the stars are ill at ease
and los angeles is burnin'
--i'm not sure where this applies, but yes, los angeles is prone to forest fires especially in winter.
this is not a test
of the emergency broadcast system
when malibu fires and radio towers
conspire to dance again
and I cannot believe the media Mecca
they're only trying to peddle reality, catch it on prime time, story at nine
the whole world is goin' insane
--AMBOT. haha
[chorus]
a placard reads "the end of days"
shotgun roundabouts are bending in the haze
more a question than a curse
how could hell be any worse?
the flames are startin'
the cameras runnin'
so take warnin'
--freakin hollywood
[chorus]
--as far as the song goes, it literally describes what a hell hole los angeles is. and as far as that, life is not easy. all the pains and glories can't really say much about it.
Yahoo! Inc.
our ways are intertwined more than once
but we can never tell when our souls go down
nor will we know when it'll rise
i deem that my life will fall
from the ashes of misery i rose
and pushed my life to it's fullest...
or did i?
for every life...
there's death...
for every breath you take...
there's breath you exhale...
for every moment i love...
there's always somebody i forsook...
for every golden road i take...
there's always a surprisingly big bump ahead...
for every minute i work...
there's an equal time i slack off...
for every hard planning...
there's always a downfall...
for every pro...
there's always a con...
does that mean, for everything i think, there's always a negative thought counter reacting it?
life...
unimagineable...
unexplorable...
unexplainable...
unexpressable...
unfair...
unjust...
but we still don't know why we're have ways of making ourselves happy
why? are we insane?
eons ago, i lost my self proclaimation of being a smart and good looking guy...
i never was
i felt my ego dissipated in the dark harnesses of life
i used to talk the talk...
but now my screams can't even be heard...
i used to be a bastard in front of the teachers, and they can't do anything to me since i know my way through their classes,
but now, i sit in the very back of the class, sleeping, imagining, not even attempting to listen to the prof. sure, i manage to pass, but i'm very lost.
i used to be so impatient with the pace of the school, telling myself that the profs are feeding us with a silver spoon.
now, i feel as if they are going too fast, and with all those weird things in their classroom things...
--we're weird in ways more than one...
don't be mad about it baby,
you and me, you and me,
I want to tie you, crucify you,
kneel before you, revile your body,
you and me, we're made in heaven,
I want to take you, I want to break you,
supplicate you, are incurable,
I want to bathe you in holy water I want to kill you,
upon the alter, you and me, you and me
--bad religion
where am i?
what am i doing here?
who am i suppose to live for?
why am i alive?
who am i?
these questions linger in my head
because if i don't ask these questions
i think my life's pointless
--the angelicfall
the light is dimming
darkness is coming
all it needs is a spark
to make a huge mark
against the atrocities of this world
perhaps the world evolves just too fast
for us to catch up upon the heavy cast
of our own heavy burdens that runs aghast
maybe...
maybe my life would've been nicer if i shared it to someone
i'm doing that right?
should i give more? or should i hold back?
decisions.. decisions... decision...
where are we going without it?
blahhh
-- the angelicfall
it's been awhile since i shopped at ebay. i was browsing ebay for the last few days, and shit, i found stuff. just what i was trying to avoid. oh well, whatever vice i have, might as well make money out of it...
"of the pains and the angers arise the better
the life and the full
sometimes leading unto the world of ingenuity
against the mass transits of meritocratic world
a world where dignity exists in the form a life
a life oh we so adore
but no matter the hurt
we keep trudging on..."
--the angelicfall
my left pointer is aching right now. the damn doorknob just went it's way. it's exagerrately big for the regular finger. i guess i'll stop using that finger until the swelling's gone. who cares anyway?
New Blog... AGAIN?!?
yeah, i created a new blog. it's a test run for phone-to-blog. In a sense, blogger doesn't have capabilities to receive posts from text messages, however they do have the capability to post from email. So it'll be: phone-email-blog, a three step thing. hehehe
I just changed my phone service from $110+$2.99 a month to a $99.99 +2.99+4.99 plan.
Differences?
Old Plan: 1200 mins
New Plan: 1600 mins
Old plan: 500 txt msgs
New Plan: 500 txt msgs
Old plan: no t-zones
New plan: unlimited t-zones
Old Plan: Free mobile to mobile, free weekends
New Plan: Free mobile to mobile, free nights and weekends
Cool. now i can blog with my cellphone. i can't exactly surf it, but i think i can use that xml feed to create a phone browseable blog.
i still can't figure out why my unlimited t-zone wasn't working. might be because of my impatience. hahaha. i just received a low batt error. hmm lemme see... i spent about 130 mins talking on the phone today... plus i left the radio on for about 3 hours... that aint so bad. hehe
work related: i'm adding an additional one hour tonight. but for tomorrow... i'll be working an additional two hours. i need to wake up at 4:30AM so that I can get to the office at 6AM. After that, I'll work my lame ass until 5PM. All for the best I guess... I'll probably do this for the next few days, including saturday. .
hopefully... i can do this.
and still continuing to do so
All my life, I only walked alongside the paths of unknown but straight road of destiny. Whenever there are bumps, I would overcome it without hesitation, even at the cost of hurting others. I was a perfectionist, even though I was nowhere close to knowing where I stood, nor knowing what my purpose in life is. From being a perfectionist, I went down to a lamer, all because I told myself that my life is useless, pointless and not even worth a single minute of anyone's time.
But then I met Tep. Throughout our ups and downs, I learned a lot of things. The value of friendship, the value of trust, the value of love, and the simple thought of importance. Then I thought, if I can't live my life for myself, can't I live it for someone? from the ashes of my fall, the angelicfall was born. This combination of two words stood for my dedication and love for the one woman I serve, Tep.
How dedicated am I to this Woman? You may ask. At the midst of hell and emotional chaos, I tried and succeeded to control my anger and had myself hang on. Not only have I told myself that I am in love with only one girl, but I also remind myself.
Reminders such as a photo of us together on my work desk/cubicle, the screensaver of my phone, my own homepage, and my happiness.
If you ask what I've learned away from this relationship, I learned other things as well. I would safely say that my photoshop skills have increased by as much as one hundred percent, and the concepts and theories on graphic I held before radically changed. Aside from that, I learned to plan, organize, and structurized anything, from financing, savings, grammar, etc... at least to my own best knowledge. To add to that, I learned how to commit and never back up... a quality missing from my life before. I also learned other programs as well, a result of patience and commitment that I gained from this relationship.
Tep, you're truly an angel. As far as memorabilia goes, there are a lot of things that I'm holding on to that marked events on our relationship, which by far, very unique from each other. I still have the Metrolink ticket I used to bring your bag, which up to now, I would never understand why i did it.
So far, I'm doing the biggest thing I will ever do to please someone yet. As far as planning goes, everything looks smooth. (details withheld, confidential, will put here what happened after).
As far as PDA, I am very PDA. On my desk at home are two framed photos of me and Tep. At work, I always have a framed photo of me and Tep in my work desk, even for my desktop wallpaper is a photo of Tep. My journals are filled with her name scattered all over it. I would say, everything is dedicated to her, even my life...
i love you Tep...
At around 10:55am, I told everyone by my cubicle that I was going to head off to the other building. Excited and happy, I walked as fast as I can, knowing that I'll have a new badge, a permanent employee badge and a parking permit. I smiled and thought that everything will be alright as soon as these things pass.
I got to the other building at around 11:01am. I saw Alice in the Security Desk and smiled at her. She went with, Ron! How are you? What's up? So I told her about the badge thingie and the parking permit.
she replied with "Oh, the Photographer's not here today, he'll be coming back Monday."
I freaked out.
I know that the company was supposed to implement strict parking policy. So I attempted to tell her, "Alice, I can't get a parking permit with a temp badge."
She told me that they won't be enforcing parking rules in these offices, only in Cypress and uhh I forgot the other one.
I went back to the office. Don was heading my way, I told him that the photographer wasn't in. I wasn't really in a mood to laugh, but he crack one. He said "Sue them if they tow your car!"
That was funny...
Don, my supervisor came up to me with a project and showed me in the workstation i was assigned to. When he minimized all windows, he looked at me really funny and said, "what's with the shrek desktop? i was expecting something like metallica, slayer and stuff like that." and he continued with a laugh, i answered with, "the cat's cool..." i trailed off with a laugh.
My wrist is acting up again. Not only does my right wrist hurt, it also crept up to part of the palm. shit, all i could do is shed a tear. i can't freaking whine about it. shit shit shit. it hurts so bad.
how fucked up could it get? i was expecting to get my new badge today along with the parking permit. I came to the other pcc building, and Alice tells me that the photographer wasn't there. Arggghhh great! WOOHOO Life's simple reasons to get a living. no wonder people hate each other here in the u.s.
Funny... LOL. Ikhlas and I engaged in a conversation shortly after I asked her if she wanted cookies. Our topic was Hawaii, where the cookies came from. She was HIGHLY suggesting going to Hawaii with Tep. I told her that we already planned on going to NY this year, that's why we would probably go to Hawaii next year. I told her it was for the new year's, and also told her that we would just crash in to some of our friend's house. she said "you SHOULD get a hotel, at least for a night, it's fun."
uhh... hahahahah
haay, i can't sleep, all these troubles are just keeping my eyes peeled.
last monday, i started to work for pcc, not as a temp but a full time employee. it was really chaotic, especially that i wasn't really slowly integrated in. problems such as file errors, ikhlas retiring, and plain ignorance all fell in and gave me the stress. i wasn't really productive last monday, especially that i was running around looking for answers to a lot of my questions, to top it off, i have more than one thousand people needed to be inputted to the database by the end of the day.
yesterday, i really worked my ass off, forcing myself to take two 5 minute breaks instead of two 15 min breaks, and i came in half an hour earlier, and also took half an hour lunch. I left the office half an hour later than usual. i treated myself out with a cold beer in front of my pc.
today, was a rather interesting day. i came in the office about fifteen minutes early. silvia, my co employee, taught me how to handle phone calls such as that i received earlier. danielle, the account exec of a group was impressed by my introductory email to the company i was handling. i took a full morning break at fifteen minutes. i stayed in the driver's seat of my car and left the door open, while smoking and drinking a can of diet pepsi. cherry passed by, she saw me and told me that the car looked very good. she looked at the interior and was impressed by it, i gave the usual excuse of having my car dirty. we smoked awhile and talked about gas mileage and stuff. she didn't stayed long, but was soon replaced by alice, a security person, who also checked out my car. we ended up talking about production of engine parts, and her husband, and so on so forth.
i went back to my cubicle just in time when my 15 min break got over. i continued working, and silvia came up to me and asked me about the parking thing. i panicked, since i forgot to put in the plate number on the request sheet. she just told me that we'll check it out together with vivian, the cash dept lady. i was petrified when vivian opened the stairwell door, i asked if we can take the elevators, the two ladies laughed at me and called me lazy.
we went to the parking lot, and my car was the first in sight. i told the ladies that i'm going to find out the temporary id number of the car. i heard vivian gave a wow and silvia saying that's a nice car! after a few seconds, the ladies came back as i announced that i can't find the temp id. i ended up copying what looks like a temp id.
we headed over to the administration building and both proceeded as i followed suit. i wasn't given a parking permit, the security personnel told me to head over to the other department, where they will issue me a new badge along with the parking permit. we went back to the office, they went ahead to the stairs, even though my ass was as lazy as hell, i went with them... i didn't want to be rude. i kept my pace up, until 12:45pm, when i took my lunch.
at lunch, wendell, surprisingly, called me. it's not normal for him to call anyone until he needs something, but he sounded friendly, just asking me if i saw the fake blowjob photo or the model humping him in his myspace profile. yup, i've seen it. he asked questions about the car, and it appears that he too was excited over my decision. i told him everything about the car.
at 1:45pm, i went back to the office, tried to do much as i can and headed off to the training room, for our departmental meeting. as we waited for the manager, i spoke to arnetta, and our topics just flied around from cookies to hair, etc. etc. the meeting proceeded soon, and by 2:30pm, it was completed.
i sent out emails to administrators about me being a group rep. at around 4:00pm, i could no longer keep up. i requested to work over time and worked until 6:30.
after work, i went straight to trader joe's, and picked a bouquet of lilies for tep's mom. it looked kinda bland, so i decided to get tissue next door at office depot. i scoured the store, and after about half an hour, i decided to go with drafting pages. i spent about half an hour in my car rearranging the bouquet and wrapping it with the drafting paper i bought.
i went to tep's place, and she was able to hide it from her mom. we ate a sandwhich, and continued on watching the documentary. i didn't noticed that i fell asleep until she told me that time was 9pm. i guess i was exhausted. i left their house at around that time.
i got home, tried to catch some sleep, until my mom brought me the Ford statements. I was calling people here and there, and found out that i might end up purchasing the car...
... and here i am, trying to fucking sleep.
i thought it was a good night until this nightmare happened. my perfume just got shipped today, i was happy, caesar brought his old cellphone, and i was happy... but then the Ford/Honda problem came.
i might end up having to purchase the car, making my monthly to a whopping $500 a month under ONLY my name. in a way it's good, but, in a way it's very bad.
mama rosa's credit will get fucked up if Ford thinks we're having a delinquincy in the monthly payment. great... so much for a new car.
aside from that, insurance costs is a lot expensive than what i used to pay. oh well... hopefully everything is for the best.
Honda screwed up, Ford's asking us to pay, now my hair? WHAT A FREAKING TIMING. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO AAAAALLLLLLLWWWWWWWWAAAAYYYYYYSSSSSS ASK ME TO GET A HAIRCUT? CAN'T I AT LEAST ENJOY IT? FUCK.
what the FUCK is going on? why am i receiving a bill from Ford Credit? WTF? We already traded the truck in! And where are the fucking paper works? WHERE ARE THEY? It'll be two weeks this friday. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? AAAAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCK FUCK FUCK
NGYAWAAAA
yeah. i have no fucking clue what happened. i don't know how the fucking scratches got in there, but fuck, it irritates me to know that I don't have a freakin clue where it came from.
This manipulation includes the removing of two superimposing exposures.
photo copyright by TepTep/IsWit, photo manipulated by the Angelicfall®
This is a combined photo. The clouds was taken from another photo, and superimposed on the other.
photo copyright by Jeng, photo manipulated by the Angelicfall®
I just cleaned the car. Took off the bird shit and made paint replica to wherever. I highlighted her finger too. ahaha
photo copyright and photo manipulated by the Angelicfall® with the Use of TepTep/IsWiT's Camera.
The Backyard with ValZjOe Gahí Boy
This is so far one of the biggest photo manipulations I've ever done. Since I don't have the best computer around, it took me a long and boring 6 hours of putting together 5 photos, which includes changing the size, skew, angle, etc. of the photos to match the other one. The image is long, I don't want to show it directly, you will have to follow the link.
photo copyright and photo manipulated by the Angelicfall® with the Use of TepTep/IsWiT's Camera.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
growl...
WHOA!
uhmmm... let's see now...
*sttreettcchhhh*
hmmmmmm
hmmmmpphhhh
huh?
wait...
what the?
hmmm... what's in there?
naaaa
lemme go back to my pc
wait... i think there's...
why youuu...
hmmmm
i hate alanganin lengths...
ngar!
toink!
photo copyright and photo manipulated by the Angelicfall®
To My Dearly Beloved Sister Rizza,
How I wished I could've been there for you, but distance has prevented me to do so. I am crying tears of happiness as you enter in a new milestone in your life. I love you and wishes all the best for you. I miss you oh so dearly, I wanted to be there for you.
I love you dearest.
To you and your Husband Robert
I wish all the best in your lives, may the fruit bear all the rewards and may the Lord's graces be with you.
I took this from another blog: specialist.blog-city.com , It's worthwile to read. I love it. Whoever posted this in there, doesn't know who wrote this too
"Tingin ng mga bobong kapitbahay ko puta daw ako. Nagpapagamit, binabayaran. Sabi nila ako daw ang pinakamaganda at pinakasikat sa aming lugar noon. Ang bango-bango ko daw, sariwa at makinis. Di ko nga alam kung sumpa ito, dahil dito naletse ang kinabukasan ko.
Tara makinig ka muna sa kwento ko, yosi muna tayo.
Alam mo, maraming lumapit sa akin, nagkagusto, naakit. Ang hirap pag lahat sa iyo virgin eh. Tinanggap ko naman silang tao, bakit kaya nila ako ginago? Masakit alalahanin, iniisip ko na lang na kase di sila taga rito, siguro talagang ganoon. Tatlong malilibog na foreigners ang namyesta sa katawan ko, na-rape daw ako.
Sa tatlong beses akong nagahasa, ang pinakahuli ang di ko makakalimutan. Parang maski di ko ginusto ang mga nangyari, hinahanap-hanap ko siya. Tinulungan nya kasi akong makalimutan yung mga sadistang Hapon at Kastilaloy. Kase, ibang-iba ang hagod niya. Umiikot ang mundo ko sa tuwing ginagamit niya ako. Ibang klase siya mag-sorry, lalo pa at kinupkop niya ako at ang mga naging anak ko.
Parating ang dami naming regalo - may chocolates, yosi, ano ka! May datung pa! Nakakabaliw siya, alam kong ginagamit nya lang ako pero pagamit naman ako nang pagamit. Sa kanya namin natutunan mag-inggles,
di lang magsulat ha! Magbasa pa! Hanggang ngayon, sa tuwing mabigat ang problema ko, siya ang tinatakbuhan ko. 'Yun nga lang, lahat ng bagay may kapalit. Nung kinasama ko siya, guminhawa buhay namin. Sosyal na
sosyal kami.
Ewan ko nga ba, akala ko napapamahal na ako sa kanya. Akala ko tuloy-tuloy na kaligayahan namin, yun pala unti-unti niya akong pinapatay. P*** ng I**! Sa dami ng lason na sinaksak niya sa katawan ko, muntik na akong malaspag. Ang daming nagsabi na ang tanga tanga ko. Patalsikin ko na daw. Sa tulong ng mga anak ko, napalayas ko ang animal pero ang hirap magsimula. Masyado na kaming nasanay sa sarap ng buhay na naranasan namin sa kanya. Lubog na lubog pa kami sa utang, kulang ata pati kaluluwa namin para ibayad sa mga inutang namin.
Sinikap naming lahat maging maganda ang buhay namin. Ayun, mga nasa Japan, Hong Kong, Saudi ang mga anak ko. Yung iba nag-US, Europe. 'Yung iba ayaw umalis sa akin. Halos lahat, wala naman silbi, masaya daw sa piling ko, maski amoy usok ako. Sa dami ng mga anak ko na nagsisikap na tulungan ang kalagayan namin, siya din ang dami ng mga anak ko na namamantala sa kabuhayan at kayaman na itinatabi ko para sa punyetang kinabukasan naming lahat. Dumating ang panahon na di na kami halos makaahon sa hirap ng buhay. Napakahirap dahil nasanay na kami sa ginhawa at sarap.
Ang di ko inaakala ay mismong mga anak ko, ang tuluyang sisira sa akin. Napakasakit tanggapin na malinlang. Akala ko ay makakakita ako ng magiging kasama sa buhay sa mga ahas na ipinakilala ng mga anak ko Hindi pala. Ang tanga ko talaga. Binugaw ako ng sarili kong mga anak kapalit ng kwarta at pansamantalang ginhawa na nais nilang matamasa.
Wala na akong nagawa dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa aking mga anak. Wala akong ibang yaman kundi ganda ko. Pinagamit ko na lang ng pinagamit ang sarili ko, basta maginhawa lang ang mga anak ko.
Usap-usapan ako ng mga kapitbahay ko. May nanghihinayang, namumuhi at naaawa. Puta na kase ang isang magandang tulad ko. Alam mo, gusto ko na sanang tumigil sa pagpuputa kaso ang laki talaga ng letseng utang ko eh. Palaki pa ng palaki. Kulang na kulang. Paano na lang ang mga anak
ko naiwan sa aking punyetang puder? Baka di na ako balikan o bisitahin ng mga nag-abroad kong mga anak. Hindi na importante kung laspagin man ang ganda ko, madama ko lang ang pagmamahal ng mga anak ko. Malaman nila na gagawin ko ang lahat para sa kanila. Sa tuwing titingin ako sa salamin, alam ko maganda pa rin ako. Meron pa din ang bilib sa akin. Napapag-usapan pa din. Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang mukha ko sa salamin, nakikita ko ang mga anak ko. Tutulo na lang ang mga luha ko ng di ko namamalayan. Ang gagaling nga ng mga anak ko, namamayagpag kahit saan sila pumunta. Mahusay sa kahit anong gawin. Tama man o mali. Proud ako sa kanila. Kaso sila, kabaligtaran ang nararamdaman para sa akin.
Sa dami ng mga anak ko, iilan lang ang may malasakit sa akin. May malasakit man, nahihilaw. Ni di nga ako kinikilalang ina. Halos lahat sila galit sa isa't isa. Walang gusto magtulungan, naghihilahan pa. Ang dami ko ng pasakit na tiniis pero walang sasakit pa nung sarili kong mga anak ang nagbugaw sa akin. Kinapital ang laspag na ganda ko. Masyado silang
nasanay sa sarap ng buhay. Minsan sa pagtingin ko sa salamin, ni hindi ko na nga kilala sarili ko.
Dadating na naman ang pasko, sana maalala naman ako ng mga anak ko. Isang buwan pa, magbabagong taon na. Natatakot ako sa taong darating. Ngayon pa lang usap usapan na ang susunod na pagbubugaw ng ilan sa mga anak ko. Sana may magtanggol naman sa akin, ipaglaban
naman nila ako. Gusto kong isigaw: "INA NINYO AKO! MAHALIN NYO NAMAN AKO!"
Sige, dumadrama na ako. Masisira na ang make up ko nito eh. Salamat ha, pinakinggan mo ako.
Ay sorry, di ko nasabi pangalan ko. Pilipinas nga pala."
I wonder what it'll be like with a live in partner? To be specific, what will happen to us if I live in with Tep?
hmm...
Let's see...
Monthly for a place for us to live on is about $800.
I'm imagining a split of the payment by my own suggestion, 70-30, mine being 70% or about $560 a month
Food, I'm guessing we will spend about $200 a month for food. or 100 for me.
Gas is still about 250 a month for me
439 for my car's monthly
150 for the insurance
i need about $1500 a month.
I can't afford it with my current income... =(
haay... oh well, it'll come.
just for a thought about my parents' retirement. I guess one of us is going to assume responsibility of the house, the question is who?
My parents have been thinking of retiring, but will only do so, ince we are on our feet. They want us to graduate first and have a high paying job, before they quit and retire. They are getting old, my dad is just a few years away from retirement age. My mom too is getting closer to that age. My dad is turning 57 this year.
I want to be able to provide for them as they are my parents who had been providing for us our whole lives. I know they want to just retreat and retire in our farms in Bukidnon. I want to have a house built for them back there. I want them to live in comfort there. I want them to enjoy.
I'm looking at around 8 years...
