yeyyy!!!!!! that was fun!

Welcome back to reality... :( although i'm saddened that the fun and joy ended earlier today, i could always say, it was a unique experience. it was somebody else's birthday, but i felt as if it was my birthday too, it was so fun, that i can just forget every problem i have in "the reality." although, most of my efforts was focused on making the birthday girl happy... my girl tep... doing so, enlightens my spirits.

i promise that by the end of the week, i would have several things done...
1. make two versions of the weekend video... one uncensored, and two censored.
2. give a copy of each versions, to tep and gelan and of course... me.
3. write up. :P (dapat mahuman ko jud ni... m doing this one for tep... well... on my own version anyway.)

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

Shit, tomorrow it'll be one hell of a day.

after work, i'll be running to and from everywhere to complete the stuff i need for our las vegas trip.

the list (unordered):
1. get and clean cooler
2. pack clothes
3. clean truck
4. do one last project page (which is due on Monday... i won't have any other time to do it)
5. get and clean tarp
6. grab some more stuff from target (or john will do it): water, 8mm video casettes,
7. wash clothes
8. wash travel bag
9. recharge video cam
10. drop off dell payment somewhere
11.

what i need to fill in time...
1. bring glass cleaner
2. bring protectant
3. start cleaning the insides of the truck during lunch
4. finish off cleaning during washing clothes

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

something inside me is pulling me down and i don't know why. maybe it's the fact of mercy and the will of the lords of the skies. perhaps it would be funny to consider my brain as an experimental part of this world, where all tests would be done until it short circuits. i hope that when i got an information overload and it gets my brain short circuited, i have enought energy left to rewire my think box. right now, it keeps happening, whenever i work, i am blanked out at the end of the day, and all i want to do is spend it at the comfort of tep's arms.

yeah yeah yeah, i know it's all a matter of fact that i keep myself getting overloaded. yeah, an overdose of information everyday, that husband and wife that has an age difference of 23 years, that funny name i saw. And, what can i do on lunch? i spend fifteen minutes eating, and the next 45 mins thinking about anything and everything. i don't have anyone to have a mindless chit chat with, either i jot down something i can think of while i'm thinking. or write a freakin novel about yesterday afternoon until today's lunchtime.

yeah, i can fill six pages of my 6x10 journal in that 45 mins if it's what comes to my mind. sometimes i would bother myself by thinking about the house that i would buy for my future wife tootsie, well, if we're ready to become fianc?es. plus the what ifs of winning that god forsaken lottery, which i know has a billion chance of winning. sometimes i would think of mushy, if not, corny, messages to send out to someone, which a lot of times, i don't know if she likes it or not or what.

it's like a fuckin' metronome, whatever the heck that means. quoted from kurt cobain. so what's up with kurt? i dunno, prolly one of the most successful suiciders i know.

i know i have to stop with this mindless jabber, besides, who reads these anyways? i doubt anyone does. who would want to read the AngelicFall's Private Journal/Diary? heck. i got lower hits now than what i have before.

ten thousand things to do, but yet i can only manage to finish one at a time. i ask myself not to smoke more than a stick on the way to work, but i can't help it, traffic aint moving much. i want to avoid coffee, but if i don't drink coffee, i fall asleep while typing at 80wpm.

what the hell does things mean when people say it? sometimes it makes me think, whenever they have a tendency to shift their intonations in their phrases.

life... mercy... hello....

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

there's that feeling again... it's 60 plus degrees... but i feel so cold...

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

bliss...
so far away...
heaven...
impossible to grab...
pain...
residing deep inside...
why...
why...
why...

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

why does this day feels like hell?

everything i do seem to be all wrong. i'm having negative thoughts for the last eighteen hours and god knows why.

how come there's pain inside me that i can't understand? why am i so moody, when i don't have hormone imbalance? why am i so moody, i'm not even a woman?

i feel as if i'm taking the life of kurt cobain and applying it to my own. where is that shotgun when u need one? why can't i just kill myself for the sake of freeing my mind of these boggles?

wwwwwwwwwwwww hhhhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????????????????

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

coming soon:

The Angelicfall III (Ron's Web v 11). Watch Out for updates. =)

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

ok ok ok

happy thoughts...

i tried to make myself feel good always... because it helps me on my decision making and stuff. dunno why, but i always make a lot of mistakes when i'm pissed off or in a bad mood. so what do i do? sometimes i would hum to myself stupid songs such as "ang kamingaw gapatyon ko" (from britney's "loneliness is killing me...") and make up senseless lyrics to it, which a lot of times would make me laugh. other times, it would be thoughts that brings a tent to my pants (yeah, dirty thoughts). and i actually feel better on my day.

whenever i bring myself on top of my dreamland, it makes my reality a lot better.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

the clouds fill the sky...
uncertainty looms in...
where art thou, o' shimmering stars and moons?
bring me the light...
take me out of hell...
shallow minds take toll...
as i beget my sanity into the limelight...
praise to the angels...
the heavens...
hell...
everything...

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

a new job...
a new hell...
a new conquest...
a new understanding...
a new perspective...
a new life...
a renewal of faith...
a renewal of love...

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

it's 78 degrees fahrenheit... and i feel so cold... :(

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |