I spent some time with the only person in the world that I know that would understand me to some extent--the inner Ron. Although much to my understanding of the world helps me keep going through, it's difficult to catch up to my own needs. I starved myself to death, but nourished myself to the living. Laughed in the face of uncertainty, but weep beside it.

I challenged myself to anything impossible, but back out in the face of possibility. I think I'm contemplating, but my mind is awashed. My mind is blank, but I think of everything.

I feel so hungry, but I can't eat. I'm trying to thin out, but I'm not on a diet. I'm weird cause everything seems normal. Heaven sings glory, but Heaven rains. Mondays suck, and Fridays and Saturdays too.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

Talk about relief, glad everything's ok, i hope.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

On my mind for the last 6 mins.

I cried and weep in pain,
When everything's in vain,
And I am already slain,
As tears drip down like rain.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

Somewhere in the midst of the hollow,
Another love starts to bloom with beau
No wonder two people starts low
In richness will it survive and grow

Heavens will sing a song that glow
Changes will never stop to flow
Replenishing the thoughts we know
And making them feel new to go
Eventhough I'm not sure what's to sow

In their minds they never cease
Nor pause on thinking about the other
And it makes everything at ease
Hence the thought of with each other

Put themselves to sleep and happy to say
Especially when they kiss and lay
Today, tomorrow and every great day
Soon will it rise over the bay

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

It's about ten AM, the transboxes came in really early, well it's supposed to be that early. This is day 2 of the server being down, I'm already backlogged by 9 files all because it was gone the whole day yesterday.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

It's almost seven AM on a Tuesday. I'm just enjoying my cup of coffee before I jumpstart my day. I can feel the taste of the roasted coffee, soothing and flavourful. As the aroma slowly envelopes the room's space, as I continue to put the heater on fire under my desk.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

I'm crying out in silence, as I weep against hanging. As the moment passes, the more I'm not sure what's going to happen. The more I think about it, the more it screws me up.

This is not exactly a poem, but will do:

I walked on the abyss of hatred,
Then I met you,
You made the world a perfect living place,
Because I know that I love you,
I miss you,
Do you know that?
I hope you believe that

Take me out of that place called hell,
And bring me out of the misery I once cannot tell
Perhaps the never ending cry of starvation,
May commit thee to the outstanding conservation

I don’t make sense.
I do believe you think hence,
The opposite nor the same thing
I leave the place unharmed
But touched by the angel
Disguised as a human

I commit to the changes in the earth
Maybe because it’s hard to bear
I weep against the walls of our heart
To creep myself from the dear

Clear my heart of the troubles
Free my mind from the pain
I weep in your abscence
And I weep with joy on your presence.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

God I miss those days when I was alone without a care. Now I'm alone and hurting. Hanging by the one word that could be the start of the happiness within.

Perhaps the Lord may never grant me mercy, for in him I weep and cry in desperation of the thoughts of despare. Spare me the ideals, for I commit thee to the everlasting lore of hell's minions. Heed the words that I speak, it may be my last. I cry to the everlasting thoughts of being in love. When will I fall again?

I fell down really hard to my face. I tried to get up, but the scars on my heart never healed. Perhaps it's under my own mercy that I can commit myself without any treshold against whatsoever that may bring to my mind.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

I dread the impossible, and yet calm down against the stars of the heavens. Perhaps to reconsider thoughts of loneliness and pain, to fight against the odds of losing. I can’t believe my eyes when I found out that I was once a stupid motherfucker crying out for help. No more will I walk down the street enslaved by love, but will walk with it.

It’s a harsh punishment to those that fell and got hurt in the end. I’m trying to recover these thoughts of desperation of the sins of hell and cry out to the shimmering night of the heavens. I couldn’t be more naïve to think through the love, maybe it would be better to think with it, rather than behind or in front of it.

Completing the harshness of the societies, I presume the everlasting lore of wisdom and pain, and kneel towards the everlasting flame of life. Life may be short spanned, but the souls and spirits of the people will live on, defending the idealisms they hold.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

It's been more than a week since the last time I updated something for Basti. The docs said, be prepared emotionally...

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |

I know I lied. I don't have anyone to turn to about what I feel about what happened to my nephew.

Almost a week ago, he was the "mataray" kind of kid. Something like, "touch me, I'll cry and mommy and daddy will take care of you", brat! Anyhow, even though he has Pompe's disease, he still has the qualities of a normal kid, and it's funny that he gets angry at me for taking his mom or dad's stuff (even though I'm just loading it in the car!).

It was funny when we brought him to the hospital almost two weeks ago for testing of clinical trials, when the doctor was diagnosing him, we thought he was in pain, cause he was crying and shouting, but when my brother (his dad) did the same thing, HE DIDN'T EVEN BUDGE! Didn't cry nor did he got angry. The doctor said, "He doesn't like me," everybody laugh.

That was weeks ago...

Right now, my nephew, Basti is in the ICU of the Bradford Children's Hospital in Long Beach Memorial Hospital. Laying in bed with an oxygen mask on his mouth. It kills me to see this sight, that sometimes I would try to look away and try not to think about. It's difficult to accept that he has a normal kind of problem, a mere fever and flu. However with his current genetic makeup, it's difficult for him to fight a normal disease.

There I said it! Now I can at least breathe a little.

Posted by Ron AngelicFall | |